The Commander
by Skairipa
Summary: Rise for your Heda. This is the untold story of Lexa. Intended as a prequel to The 100, this story explores Lexa's life up until she meets Clarke. Clexa endgame. Death is not the end.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: The 100 and all of its characters are the property of Jason Rothenberg and the CW. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I do not gain anything financially from writing this story._

Author's Note: I am new to The 100 fandom, but Lexa is a character that instantly captivated me. I really wanted to know more about her, where she came from, and the choices she made. This story is my attempt to better understand her character. This is my first FanFiction, so feedback is very much appreciated, just please be kind. I hope you enjoy it. And remember, death is not the end.

 **Chapter 1**

A single arrow pierced the night sky, shattering all Lexa kom Trikru knew. The tip of the arrow was on fire, and the archer's aim was true. Young Lexa awoke to the roof of her hut engulfed in flames. The arrow was the first of many. Volley after volley of flaming arrows fell on her village. She struggled to comprehend what she was seeing as flames licked up the walls of her home. She choked on the smoke, her eyes watering.

"Lexa!"

It was her mother. Lexa reached out in the direction of her voice. Her mother swept her up in her strong arms and carried her out of the hut.

The scene outside was chaos. Fire. Smoke. Screaming. Crying. But the arrows had stopped their steady descent on her village. _It must be over_ , she thought.

That was when she heard the battle cries. An army of warriors charged through the tree line, their faces covered in white war paint. _Azgeda_. The Ice Nation. War had finally found them.

"Mother! Father!" Lexa cried.

Her father appeared before her, his sword in hand. He knelt in front of his young daughter.

"No matter what you see here tonight, remember that life can be more than this. You can be more-"

His last words were cut off as a sword pieced his chest from behind.

"NOOOOOO!" Lexa cried.

In the same breath, Lexa's mother picked up her father's sword. She exchanged blow after blow with her husband's killer, matching the Azgeda warrior every step. When the warrior stumbled backwards on a tree root, she did not hesitate. In one confident swoop of the sword, she freed his head from his body. It was a clean cut. The head rolled towards Lexa and came to a stop at her feet, dead eyes staring back at her. Her heart swelled with pride at her mother's fighting prowess. She had avenged her father. Lexa looked up at her mother right as the arrow pierced her neck. Their eyes locked as her mother fell to the ground, reaching for Lexa. Lexa crumpled on the ground next to her, defeated and broken. Her family, her home, her village, all obliterated by the Ice Nation.

"Yu gonplei ste odon," Lexa whispered to her parents. _Your fight is over._

Paralyzed with grief and cradling her mother's body in her arms, Lexa did not notice the young Azgeda warrior approach her. He was just a kid, barely older than her. His face was covered in blood, the blood of her people. He froze when he saw her, shocked to see a survivor among the rubble.

"Roan!" A voice called from the other side of her village. "Any survivors over there? Your mother's instructions were clear. We are to leave no one alive."

The boy looked directly in Lexa's eyes as he prepared to respond. Her face was set with a steely resolve, hatred burning through her green eyes. But there was something else, too…

"No," he replied. "There are none alive here. Our work here is done."

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving Lexa alone… the sole survivor of her village.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Anya's war paint was dark and fresh upon her face. She rode on her favorite battle horse, leading her people through the woods. There were reports of Azgeda raiding parties in the area. Anya thirsted for their blood. They were getting bolder if they thought they could enter Trikru land. She would not stand for it. Blood must have blood.

She smelled it before she saw it. The smell of burning, of death. She urged her horse forward at a gallop. As she broke through the clearing, she saw the smoldering ashes of a Trikru village, all its occupants dead. Anya gasped in shock, and then the rage hit. These were her people and they had been slaughtered like animals in their sleep. Azgeda will pay, she resolved.

"Check them all!" Anya commanded. "Look for any survivors."

Anya climbed down from her horse. Everything was worse from this angle. The faces of the dead stared up at her, accusing. _Where were you? Why didn't you save us?_ She didn't let her emotions show though. She must remain strong for her warriors. Nothing pierced her armor.

She approached the body of a child, draped over who Anya presumed was the child's mother. Anya reached down to turn the girl over. As she did, she saw a flash of silver as a knife was pressed to her throat. The girl was alive! And she was a fighter.

Anya smirked. "What have we here?" she asked, as she expertly pivoted around and grabbed the knife from the girl's hands. "What's your name?"

The girl stared back at her defiantly. "I am Lexa kom Trikru, and I will have my revenge."

Anya nodded approvingly at the girl. "I am Anya kom Trikru," she replied, "and yes, you will."

A look of understanding passed between them. Lexa felt a glimmer of hope begin to rise up in her and she stood to clasp arms with her rescuer.

"Lexa kom Trikru," Anya began, "You will be my second. I will make you a warrior and give you the strength to avenge your family."

"Jus drein jus daun," Lexa said. _Blood must have blood._

 _She's a spirited one_ , Anya mused. "Jus drein jus daun," she replied.

As was Trikru custom, they burned the dead. Anya's warriors built the funeral pyre. When it was time to light it, Anya passed the torch to Lexa. Wordlessly, Lexa took the proffered torch and lit the pyre, watching her past burn with the bodies of her people. She was no longer the carefree little girl who lived in the idyllic village. She was on a different path now, a warrior's path, and she knew the way would be dangerous.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 _2 years later…_

"Again!" Anya yelled as she parried another blow from Lexa. Lexa had proven to be a quick study and Anya a more than capable teacher. Lexa fought with a grace and speed that Anya herself envied. She came at Anya again and again.

"Stop." Anya said. "You must fight with your head and not your heart. You are all aggression and no strategy. You must anticipate my next move and the move after that. You must plan your strike and your counter strike two and three moves away. You are better than this. Again."

Lexa was tired and bruised from Anya's lesson today, but she picked up her wooden sword and charged again, this time taking her mentor's words to heart.

"Yes!" Anya cried as Lexa knocked the sword from her hand. "Very good. That's it for today. Tomorrow we fight with real swords."

 _Finally_ , Lexa thought with a smile.

Anya was tough. Lexa admired her, loved her even, but she knew better than to say that aloud. Anya had given Lexa a home and she was almost beginning to feel safe again. Her rage was always simmering below the surface though. Anya warned her again and again to control her emotions, and Lexa was trying, she really was.

That night, Anya joined Lexa as she was sitting by the campfire. Anya followed Lexa's gaze. Costia. Again. The blonde hair, blue eyed girl who had won Lexa's attention.

"What have I told you, Lexa? Love is weakness," she said coldly.

"But why?" Lexa replied, indignant.

"You know why. I will not explain this again. That," she said, pointing at Costia, "will only lead to pain and heartbreak. You need to abandon the childish notion of love. It is not the warrior's way."

"I am more than capable of separating feelings from duty, " Lexa replied, every word measured, careful not to let her voice betray any semblance of emotion.

Lexa stood up. "Goodnight, Anya."

Anya watched Lexa stand up and walk away to her tent. She was still sitting there, watching, when Costia entered Lexa's tent ten minutes later. _Oh Lexa, life will be a cruel teacher,_ Anya thought sadly.

The next morning, Lexa was waiting for Anya when she emerged from her tent. She tossed Anya a sword. "Let's go."

Lexa was more than ready for their lesson. She was frustrated it had taken Anya this long to let her train with real weapons. She couldn't understand her teacher's reluctance.

As they began to parry blows, Lexa felt a thrill shoot through her body. This was what it felt like to be a warrior! She had never felt so alive. The feel of the heavy sword in her hand gave her purpose, gave her strength. The sword became an extension of her body and she found herself anticipating her sparing partner's next move and responding accordingly. She begin to think about how it would feel when she finally avenged her family. As her thoughts drifted to future victories, she lost her focus on the present battle. Anya jabbed her sword at Lexa and she was too slow this time to dodge the hit. Anya's sword sliced Lexa's upper left arm. She had never been cut before. It burned. She felt her blood run hot down her arm, but she knew better than to look. She needed to keep fighting. She raised her sword to strike back at Anya. But Anya had lowered her weapon. She looked stricken. Lexa couldn't understand what she was seeing on her teacher's face. She followed Anya's gaze to her own arm. As soon as she saw it, she understood. Her blood ran black down her arm.

"You're a Natblida," Anya whispered in disbelief. A Nightbood. "Did you know?"

But the look of horror on Lexa's face gave Anya her answer.

"No," Lexa softly replied. She felt her knees give way and she collapsed to the ground, her sword falling from her hand. Her parents must have kept this from her; they had to have known.

Anya knelt in the ground next to her and held her. It was the only time she had ever comforted her.

"We'll leave for Polis at first light," Anya whispered in her ear.

Lexa only nodded in understanding.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Anya lay awake in her tent. As the leader of Trikru, Anya knew her duty. Once discovered, a Nightblood must be presented to the Flamekeeper in Polis to train with the other Nightbloods. It was how their people chose their commander. Only a Nightblood, and only the strongest among them, could lead. For all her talk of duty, Anya loved Lexa and struggled with fulfilling her duty. She had vowed to keep the girl safe and to help her avenge her family. She still had so much to teach her. But, she knew that in the morning, she would do her duty and take Lexa to Polis, their capital city. After that, she doubted she would ever see her second again. One tear rolled down Anya's cheek as she rolled over and sleep finally overtook her.

Lexa couldn't sleep. She was angry. And, as much as she hated to admit it, scared. Once again, her life was taking an unforeseen turn and she had no control over it. She knew what happened to Natblidas. She knew about the Conclave. Knew that only one could survive.

She was content with her life in Trikru. With Anya. With Costia. Tomorrow all of that would be gone. And all because of the color of her blood. Unbidden, hot tears began to stream down Lexa's face. It wasn't fair! This wasn't supposed to happen! None of this was supposed to happen! She balled her hands into fists and struck her pillow repeatedly, screaming into it. Lexa allowed herself to fall apart for a few moments, but then she remembered Anya's teaching. She would show no emotion, show no mercy, for none would be shown to her. Determination swelled within her. She set her resolve. She would be the next Heda, the next Commander. This was her path to revenge. As commander, Lexa would have the power to make real change. This is what she must focus on. With her mind made up, Lexa drifted off into a fitful sleep. In her dreams, she saw a dark haired woman, hand outstretched, beckoning her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

When Lexa opened her eyes, Anya's face came into view.

"Wake up."

Lexa groaned and sat up. How could it be dawn already?

"We have to get you ready for Polis," Anya said. "You must look like a warrior when you arrive."

Anya carefully braided Lexa's hair to look just like her own. The braids were intricate and criss-crossed in the back. Then she produced her war paint. Lexa gasped. She had never worn war paint. She hadn't even thought of a design. But, it didn't matter, because Anya knew just what to do. Anya's fingers expertly painted Lexa's face. "Close your eyes," she commanded, and Lexa did. Anya spread the black paint straight over Lexa's eyes and into her hair. She left her skin bare at the bridge of her nose. Then, Anya carefully swept three fingers down each of Lexa's cheeks, leaving a trail of black paint of varying lengths.

When Lexa opened her eyes and saw her reflection, she almost didn't recognize herself. The girl was gone and a warrior stood in her place. She felt powerful. She looked dangerous. The paint made her feel surprisingly safe, like a mask she could hide behind. The girl who wore this paint would not be afraid, would not be swayed by emotions.

"Thank you," she whispered to Anya.

"One more thing." Anya reached into her belt and produced her favorite knife. She offered it to Lexa.

Tentatively, Lexa took it and nodded. In that moment, Lexa knew that Anya cared for her. No words were needed between them.

Lexa turned the knife over in her hands and stared once again at her reflection. She thought about all the people she had loved. Her mother. Her father. Anya. Costia. Thinking about them gave her strength. If she became commander, she would use that strength. Her father had wanted her to be different. To be something more. If she won her conclave, Lexa decided that she would be a commander who fights for peace. She would make her family proud.

She turned to face Anya. "I'm ready."

When she emerged from her tent, Costia was waiting for her. Her eyes were red and swollen. She pulled Lexa into a hug.

"Promise me you'll win, ok?" She said.

"I promise."

Costia gave a faint smile as she released Lexa.

"Let's go," Anya said.

Anya and Lexa mounted their horses and turned to leave the village. Lexa never looked back.

Polis was only a day's ride from their village near TonDC, yet Lexa had never been. When the city came into view, she immediately saw the Commander's tower. It stood tall at the center of the city, dwarfing everything around it. Lexa stared at it in awe.

"Come on. We have to keep moving," Anya urged her.

They came to a stop at the temple, the sacred crypt of the first commander. They dismounted their horses and Anya walked up confidently to the temple guard.

"I need to see the Flamekeeper. I've brought a Natblida," Anya said.

The guard nodded.

"Wait here," he said.

All of this felt so strange to Lexa. She felt like she didn't belong, yet at the same time she felt like maybe she was exactly where she was supposed to be for the first time in her life. Anya's voice broke through her thoughts. She grasped Lexa by the shoulders.

"We don't have much time. Remember everything I have taught you. Do not trust anyone here. You must look out for yourself. Any friendship or attachment will only make what you have to do worse. You will make a great Heda, Lexa."

Lexa was moved by Anya's words and her confidence in her.

"Thank you, Teacher. I will strive to make you proud,"Lexa replied.

"You already have."

"The Flamekeeper will see you now," the guard said. Lexa had not even heard him return.

They followed him into the temple. It was decorated with many things Lexa did not understand, strange relics from another time. A bald man approached them. He was wearing robes. To Lexa, he looked to be in his forties.

"I am Titus, Flamekeeper," he began. "And you, I presume, are the Natblida?" He said as he turned his attention to Lexa. "Hold out your hand."

Lexa set her jaw and tried not to look scared. She offered her right hand to him. He pulled a knife from his robes and sliced her palm. Lexa didn't even wince. Black blood trickled down her hand on onto the floor.

"Very well then," Titus said. "Come with me and we will begin your training." Turning to Anya," Thank you. You may go now."

Anya nodded respectfully and turned to go. She and Lexa locked eyes for only a brief moment. And then she was gone and Lexa was alone with Titus.

"What is your name, Natblida?" He asked.

"Lexa kom Trikru."

"Well, Lexa kom Trikru, you have much to learn."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Training with the other Nightbloods was grueling. Including Lexa, there were nine officiates. Their day started before dawn with lessons—history, politics, battle strategy, economics, and mathematics. To lead well, a Commander must have knowledge of all things. After lessons came training. They trained in all types of combat with all types of weapons. They engaged in hand to hand combat. They learned to use swords, spears, bows, and throwing knives. They fought Titus, the current commander, and each other. After training came horseback riding or tracking or whatever other activity Titus had planned for them that day. Lexa loved it all. She was an excellent student. Even though she started later than some of the other officiates, she quickly surpassed them all in every way… all but one. Luna kom Floukru could out fight and out maneuver all of them. She was aggressive and brutal in her fighting style. And she was also Lexa's closest friend.

"I know you are going to kill me one day," Lexa said to Luna.

It was night, and once again, the two had slipped out to visit the lake. They sat on the dock, their bare feet dipped in the cool water.

"You should also know that I want nothing to do with any of this," Luna replied.

"It doesn't change the facts. You will win."

"I know that I will, and that's what scares me."

"What do you mean?" Lexa gently asked.

"I don't want to be a killer. Winning means killing my brother, killing you, killing everyone that we spend every day with. I'm afraid what it will turn me into. I won't be a good commander."

There was a long silence between the two of them. Lexa didn't know what to say. She didn't like the situation any more than Luna did. To protect the Commander's sovereignty, every other Nightblood had to die. They were a threat to the Commander's reign. This was the way things had always been.

Luna broke the silence. "You should be Commander, Lexa."

Lexa turned her head in surprise and looked directly in Luna's eyes. There's was no falsehood there.

Luna continued. "You were born for this, Lexa. You have the mind for it. You see things in way I will never be able to. And, you are a fighter. The clans would follow you."

"Thank you, my friend. You honor me with your words."

That night Lexa lay awake and thought about what Luna had said. She wanted to be the Commander, she knew that much. But what would she do once she had that power? The twelve clans had been fighting for as long as Lexa could remember. It had been years since her parents' death and many battles and skirmishes had been fought, but no real progress had been made. Life was an endless cycle of violence. But that had always been the way of their people. _When I am Heda_ , Lexa thought, _I will unite the people. They will all be my people, not just Trikru. Life can be better than this, I'm sure of it._

That night, the dark haired woman appeared again in Lexa's dreams. Lexa couldn't be sure, but when she woke up, she felt as if she somehow had this woman's blessing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 _3 years later…_

Red smoke billowed from the top of the tower. The Commander was dead. Fallen in battle. It was time for the Conclave to begin.

It was chaos in the officiates' tower. They were gathering their weapons and summoning their courage, the reality of the Conclave sinking in. For some, it was a welcome release. They relished the thought of taking a life and taking the commander's mantle. For others, they felt dread, anxiety, and fear, for they knew today would be the day they died. Lexa had already applied her warpaint, just as Anya had three years prior. Luna and Lexa were calm. They looked only to one another, the same question in both of their eyes. Which of them would be victorious?

A hush swept over the room as Titus entered. He read off the names of who would be fighting whom in the first wave of matches. Lexa was paired with Selena, a young girl from Trishana Kru. Lexa only felt a small pang of guilt for what she was about to do to her.

The arena where the Conclave was held was near the center of Polis. Crowds gathered in the stands, eager to watch who their new Heda rise. The Nightbloods were kept hidden until it was their turn to enter the arena and choose their weapon. Lexa waited patiently for her turn. She was in the second round. She felt an odd sense of relief that the Conclave, something she had been looking forward to with a strange mix of anticipation and dread for three years, was finally happening. She bore no attachment to the other officiates, and while she didn't relish the thought of killing any of them, she also saw it as an unfortunate necessity. She would do what needed to be done. She had made a promise. It was only the thought of facing Luna that gave her pause. She knew that they were both willing to kill the other, and that thought is what scared both of them. She heard her name called and knew she had to push all other thoughts from her mind. She could not be distracted on the battle field.

As Lexa entered the arena, she chose two swords as her weapons. Dual swords had always been her favorite, and where others struggled to wield two, she only become more deadly. She saw Selena enter the arena opposite her. She chose a bow and arrows. _Coward_ , Lexa thought. _A true warrior would not strike from a distance._

The horn blew and the fight began. Selena unleashed a flurry of arrows at Lexa. Lexa ran in an unpredictable pattern and avoided many of the arrows. The ones she wasn't able to dodge, she sliced in the air with her swords. Only one grazed her arm, but it didn't slow her down. It just fueled her drive to win. She quickly closed the space between herself and her opponent. She saw the whites of Selena's eyes, terror written on her face. She knew what was about it happen; it was inevitable. Lexa leapt at Selena, swords drawn.

"Yu gonplei ste oden," Lexa said as she plunged her sword in Selena's heart. There was no hesitation in her action.

The crowed cheered. Lexa had won her first round. As she walked out of the arena, she passed Luna going in. Luna was paired against Davos, a skilled fighter from Sankru. Lexa and Luna gave each other a small nod of recognition as they passed. Lexa went to wait with the other victors. It wasn't long before Luna, too, returned victorious.

It was time for the second wave of matches, comprised of victors from the first wave. Luna was paired against her brother, Tristan. Her expression was unreadable when the names were announced. She wouldn't even look at Lexa before she entered the arena. To Lexa, the waiting was the worst. Not only was she waiting for her own fight, but she was waiting to see what Luna would do. Would she let her brother kill her? Or worse, would she kill her own brother? Lexa didn't have to wait long. Luna emerged victorious, her face covered in her brother's blood, her eyes soulless and hollow. Luna was badly wounded. What had they done to each other? Lexa barely recognized her friend.

"Luna!" She cried as she walked past. She tried to grab her by the arm, but Luna shrugged her off and kept walking, never looking at Lexa.

Lexa heard her name announced. She was in a daze as she walked out but quickly regained her focus. Her opponent was Yarl, a young man three times her size from the Blue Cliff warriors. He was strong, but she was faster. They exchanged blow after blow. He was a worthy opponent. Lexa's arms ached with the force of his blows. He knocked her to the ground with an uppercut to her chin. Pain shot through her body. As he moved to lift his heavy broadsword over his head to finish her, Lexa slid between his legs and slashed. Her swords cut through his muscles and tendons and he fell to the ground in agony. She approached him from behind and pulled him up to his knees.

"Yu gonplei ste oden," she said as she sliced his throat. His warm blood sprayed all over her. She felt the thrill of victory. The crowd roared with excitement. This was a leader they could rally behind.

She was almost done. All that was left was to fight Luna. They were the last two left standing.

When she walked back into the victors' room, she was met with chaos.

"The coward! She ran!"

"Where is she?!"

"Search everywhere."

Titus approached Lexa. "What's going on?" She asked him.

"Luna kom Floukru has run from the Conclave. We cannot find her anywhere. She has dishonored herself and us all," Titus said.

A swirl of emotions washed over Lexa. Disbelief. Anger. Sadness. Relief.

"Now what?" She asked her teacher.

"Now you become Heda," he said.

Lexa stood straighter and fixed her gaze on him. "But what of Luna?" She asked.

"I will send riders to track her down and kill her. They will bring her head to me. Your ascension must not be questioned."

"No," Lexa responded firmly. "She is no threat to me. Tell the others she is dead. Tell them that she succumbed to her wounds. But she is to remain unharmed. Is that clear?"

Titus could barely hide his shock. "Yes, I understand."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The horn blew and the wind carried the sound across Polis. It was the ascension call. A new commander had emerged victorious.

Lexa wore the shoulder armor of the commander, with the red sash trailing down the entire length of her body. She wore the commander's headpiece on her forehead, between her eyes. She felt powerful. Confident. This was the moment she had been waiting for, although what exactly this moment was had always been a complete mystery to the Nightbloods. They knew that the Commander must "take the flame," but they didn't know what that meant. Only Titus, the Flamekeeper, and the Commander themself ever truly knew what the flame was. Lexa felt a shudder of apprehension run down her spine. What was she about to do? What would she become?

"Let the Commander ascend!" Titus yelled for all gathered to hear. Lexa had no more time to worry. She had to portray confidence now for her people. She was to be their Heda and they would look to her for safety and security. She could never fail them.

The doors to the throne room swung open and Lexa walked with unshakable purpose down the red carpet of the aisle, keeping her eyes fixed on Titus. A small crowd of representatives from each clan was assembled in the throne room. She stopped when she reached Titus. He looked confident, proud even. She had long suspected that she was his favorite. Perhaps she had been right. They were standing just below the steps to the throne. A bowl sat on a pedestal in front of them. Suspended above the bowl was something Lexa had never seen before. It was small and translucent with a sideways "8" engraved in blue on it, the sacred symbol. _The flame_ , Lexa thought. It was not what she had expected.

Titus motioned for her to hold out her hand over the flame. _This feels familiar_ , Lexa thought, as he sliced her palm and closed her fist, letting her blood trickle down onto the flame.

"May the Spirit of the Commander choose wisely," he announced loud enough for all to hear.

Titus motioned his head for Lexa to kneel. When she did, he took some of her blood on his index finger and painted a straight line with it down the center of her forehead.

"Lexa kom Trikru," Titus began, "You have emerged victorious from the Conclave. None now stand who can challenge your reign. Now, tell me, what are the three pillars of the Commander?"

Lexa looked up at him, eyes bright with determination. She spoke loudly and clearly for all to hear. "Wisdom. Strength. And compassion."

"And Lexa, as Heda, do you vow to uphold these principles? To apply them to all people regardless of clan? To lead with wisdom, strength, and compassion until your fight is over?"

"I do," Lexa said.

Titus took the flame, covered in Lexa's blood, from its resting place. He moved to stand behind Lexa, still kneeling.

" _Ascende superious,"_ Titus whispered to the flame. Only Lexa could hear him. The words sounded foreign to her. What did they mean?

As Titus spoke, tendrils emerged from the flame. He held it over the base of Lexa's neck and the tendrils reached out. He took a knife from his belt and cut a small slit at the base of Lexa's neck. Not expecting it, Lexa involuntarily winced. The tendrils began to take root in her neck. Titus released the flame and it burrowed all the way in. Titus' assistant Flamekeeper, Gaia, brought him a needle and thread. He quickly stitched up the cut.

Lexa felt strange. She heard Titus's voice, but he sounded so distant. She felt him pulling her to her feet.

"Rise for your Heda!" He shouted.

The crowed rose and cheered. Lexa saw it all as if in a fog, the action happening far away from her. Titus directed her to the throne and she sat. She heard Titus dismiss the crowd. And then they were alone.

 _Seek higher things. That's what ascende superious means_ , Lexa thought. _How do I know that?_ Lexa felt a rush of information flood her mind and she screamed. Then unconsciousness grabbed her and pulled her under.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

When Lexa opened her eyes, she was in an unfamiliar place. But, it wasn't unfamiliar at the same time. The room she was standing in was stark white. She was standing in front of a window, looking down at something… something big. _Earth,_ she thought. _How do I know that's Earth? I've never seen it from this angle before._

"You know it because I know it."

Lexa spun around. It was the dark haired woman from her dreams. "Who are you?" Lexa asked.

"You know who I am."

"Becca Pramheda. The First Commander."

"Very good. You are catching on faster than the others. I knew my spirit chose wisely with you, Lexa of the Tree People."

"What is happening to me?" Lexa asked.

"You have taken the flame, Lexa. You now have the memories and knowledge of every commander before you. It's how the commander always leads with wisdom," Becca said.

"It feels…overwhelming."

A rush of memories came at Lexa. She fell to the floor, grabbing her head with her hands. Flashes of other lives, other times. A century of history played through her mind. It felt like she was living the entirety of it but only minutes passed. Becca knelt down next to her and placed her hand on her back.

"Don't fight it. Let the memories wash over you."

Several more minutes passed and Lexa opened her eyes. Her bright green eyes were no longer the eyes of a young 16 year old, but of an old soul who has seen too much. She crumpled into Becca's arms and cried. Cried over what was done to humanity, cried for the lives lost, cried over what they had become, cried for what was still to come. _Praimfaya._

"I know it's a lot to take in," Becca said soothingly. "But it's time to get up now. You have work to do."

Lexa took Becca's hand and stood to her feet. When she stood, her eyes opened and she found herself still sitting on the throne, Titus watching over her.

"Heda?" He said tentatively.

She stood to her full height. She cast an intimidating shadow across the throne room. The girl was gone and someone else stood in her place. She turned to Titus.

"When my ascension ceremonies conclude at the end of the week, you will summon representatives from every clan. The time for petty fighting between the clans is over. I will form a coalition to unite all people. A greater threat is coming and we must stand together. And they will join me, or they will die," Lexa said, every word calm, measured.

"Yes, Heda," Titus faithfully replied.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Lexa spent the next two weeks solidifying her ascension. It felt like an endless parade of traditions. Then the day to day work of being commander began. There were quarrels to be settled, people to see, trade routes to discuss, battles to fight. Lexa was waiting for the clan representatives to arrive in Polis before beginning talks of the coalition. In the meantime, she spent much of her time with Titus. The Flamekeeper was invaluable to her as she adjusted to the flame and her new leadership role.

They were standing on Lexa's balcony, a brief respite in their hectic day.

"Titus? Am I still me?" Lexa asked quietly.

"Of course, Heda. Why do you ask?" He replied.

"The Flame. I feel so different."

"That is to be expected. But the Flame cannot change your character. It cannot change who you are or what decisions you will make. It only seeks to guide you."

The answer reassured Lexa. She continued, "The past commanders… they visit me in my dreams."

"Yes, I expect they do. You must learn to access the Flame with your waking mind. I will show you how to mediate and do this. When you control communication with them, you may find your sleep to be more peaceful."

Lexa nodded. "Thank you, Titus."

"I am here to serve you, Heda."

A guard came to notify Lexa and Titus that the next group of people who came to seek an audience with the commander had arrived.

"Send them in," Lexa said, as she moved back to her throne and sat. Titus stood at her side.

Lexa heard from a farmer whose cattle had been stolen by a neighbor, a shopkeeper whose store had been vandalized, people who were worried about Azgeda aggression in their lands, and the list went on. In cases where Lexa could mete justice, she did. In cases where she needed to investigate, she sent scouts. In cases where violence had to be met with violence, she sent warriors. Even without the flame, Lexa was wise beyond her years. She was already gaining the respect and trust of her people.

The sun was getting low in the sky when the last two subjects entered the throne room. One was a small, hooded figure and the other was someone she recognized instantly.

"Gustus?" Lexa asked. Costia's older brother.

"Yes, hello Heda. And I've brought someone to see you."

The hooded figure removed her hood and Lexa looked into Costia's eyes for the first time in years. However, she was careful not to react.

"It's good to see you both," Lexa began. "What is it that you seek from your commander?"

"I ask for the privilege to serve in your personal guard," Gustus said. He was well-known as a brave, fierce, and loyal warrior.

"Then that honor shall be your's," Lexa replied, secretly pleased to have an old trusted friend by her side.

"And you?" Lexa asked Costia.

"Only for a private audience with an old friend," Costia said.

Titus was incensed. "Heda, who is this girl who dares to presume upon your generosity?! Let me teach her her place—"

Lexa's right hand shot up in a motion to silence Titus. He immediate obeyed.

"Enough Titus. Leave us. Everyone leave us."

Titus gave Lexa a questioning look, but he quickly left, along with everyone else. Lexa and Costia were alone. Lexa's expression softened as she climbed down from the throne and enveloped Costia in a hug, which was eagerly returned.

"You did it. I knew you would," Costia said, beaming.

"Well, I made a promise, didn't I?" Lexa replied. "I couldn't very well go and die after that."

They both laughed. Lexa felt truly safe and happy for the first time in years.

"How long will you be in Polis?" Lexa asked.

"As long as you'll have me."

Lexa smiled. "Then come, we have much to discuss."

Lexa and Costia stayed up all night talking. Lexa told her about her time in Polis, her training, everything. She told Costia about her dream to unite the clans and about her fears that Azgeda would not join. War may be inevitable, but she would not shrink from that. Costia told her about life back in their village and all that Lexa had missed. They instantly settled back into a comfort and ease with one another. It has been so long since Lexa had been around someone who cared about her because of her, not because she was a Nightblood or the Commander. Lexa had to be wary around everyone, distrustful of intentions, but not around Costia. She felt lighter somehow just being around her.

Costia stayed in Polis and Gustus quickly established himself in Lexa's guard. Lexa was working tirelessly to establish her coalition, meeting with each clan representative. She was thrilled when the Trikru delegation was announced and she saw Anya saunter in to the throne room. Lexa walked down from her throne and clasped arms with Anya.

"It's good to see you, Anya," Lexa said.

"It's good to see you, too. I'm glad all that time I spent on you didn't go to waste," Anya quietly quipped to Lexa. They both smiled.

"Indeed not," Lexa replied playfully.

Then they were both back to being leaders, the familiarity gone. Anya said, "Let me introduce you to Indra. She will be staying in Polis as my ambassador."

Lexa and Indra clasped arms. "It's an honor to meet you, Indra kom Trikru," Lexa said.

"The honor is mine, Heda. You have made Trikru proud," Indra replied.

Lexa could instantly tell that Indra was a proud, capable warrior. Indra may not agree with all the things Lexa was about to do, but Lexa felt that Indra would be a loyal ally to her nonetheless, and she needed those.

It was late in the day and Lexa and Costia were walking in the gardens. The few moments they got to spend alone were precious to them.

"It's going to work, you know, your coalition," Costia said.

"I hope so," Lexa replied. "I bring all the representatives together in the same room tomorrow. They have all privately accepted my offer, but we'll see when they are in a room with their enemies."

"They will see the wisdom in joining together. The protection you offer. You'll make them see that. And what news of Azgeda?"

"The Azgeda delegation has not arrived yet. I fear it will come to war with them. Queen Nia is not one to relinquish power."

"I know you hate her," Costia said quietly.

"I do. She killed my family. But that was a long time ago, and I have to do what's right for my people," Lexa said, although if she was being honest with herself that wasn't entirely true.

"You know you don't have to be the commander around me, right?" Costia said softly.

"I know," Lexa said. She felt suddenly so tired. "For most of my life, all I wanted was revenge against Azgeda. Jus drein dus daun. And now that I am in a position to exact that revenge, I find myself bound by duty. The way seems so unclear." Lexa looked so vulnerable to Costia in that moment.

"Hey," she said, grabbing Lexa by the shoulders and making her look at her, "You'll figure it out. You always do. Let's just see how things go tomorrow for starters, ok?"

Lexa was so thankful for Costia. She was the only person who put Lexa first. She didn't know what she would do without her. She leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. "Let's go home."

Neither of them saw Titus crouched down in the bushes, watching them, his suspicions confirmed. His expression was unreadable as he stood up and walked away.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Lexa awoke before the sun. She quietly rolled out of bed, careful not to wake Costia. She moved to the end of the bed and sat on the floor, legs criss crossed, eyes closed. Under Titus' guidance, she was learning to communicate with the spirit of the commanders. Today was an important day and she wanted their blessing. Of all the commanders, Lexa listened to Becca's voice most. She was the one least insistent upon clan loyalties and instead focused on the best outcome for all people. Her beliefs most closely aligned with Lexa's own. Today was the day Lexa's coalition would rise or fall. If Lexa couldn't solidify this coalition, she knew it would destabilize her own power and likely lead to her death. This had to work. Lexa knew she must be careful to respect their traditions. Jus drein jus daun had always been the way of their people and it must continue to be their basis of their justice. However, Lexa also knew that there was something coming that would pay no regard to clan or beliefs. Becca showed her praimfaya. She knew that in six years time, a death wave would rip across the surface of the Earth, killing everything in its path. If Lexa didn't unite the people now, it would be chaos then. In Lexa's mind, Becca had shown her a bunker beneath the crypt. It would protect its occupants from praimfaya. It was Lexa's intention to save an equal number from every clan. This coalition was the first step towards that plan. They had to learn to live together. As Becca warned, Lexa was careful to never mention any of this to another living soul. It was the commander's burden to bear, and her's alone.

Lexa finished her meditations and went to the throne room early. She stood on the balcony. From up here, she could see all the way across Polis. Everyone in every direction was her responsibility, a responsibility that weighed heavily on her small shoulders. She heard Titus approach from behind.

"Yes, Titus?"

"Lexa, we need to speak," he said solemnly. Lexa was surprised that he referred to her by her name, not Heda. Something was amiss.

"Go on," she prompted, a sense of dread building.

"Do you not remember my teachings?"

"Titus, I don't have time for this. Say what you came here to say and get on with it," Lexa said, already irritated. She didn't need distractions today and she did not want to play games with him.

"I saw you!" He spat. "With her!" Lexa was taken aback by his anger.

"Whatever it is you think you saw is of no concern to you," she replied defensively.

"But it is! Everything you do concerns me, concerns all of your people. Love is weakness, Lexa. To be commander is to be alone. You must end this."

"I will do no such thing."

"If you don't, you are killing her. Your enemies are circling, looking for a weakness. If you care about her, you will send her home!"

Lexa was incensed. Her careful, measured way of speaking was gone. She yelled at Titus with a level of passion he didn't know she possessed. Her eyes burned with anger.

"You forget your place, Titus! You are my subject! They are all my subjects! I will not hear this from you again! Get out! Now."

Titus was shook. He had not expected her to so throughly dismiss him, dismiss his wisdom. He loved her and respected her. He felt more for her than any other commander he had served. But, she was wrong, and he had to save her from herself. But he also knew he would not get through to her today, so he bowed respectfully and left her alone to her thoughts.

Lexa turned back to look out at the city again. Her heart was somersaulting in her chest, her blood felt like it was boiling. How dare he? He was wrong. Anya was wrong. They were all wrong. Why couldn't she have it all? She didn't ask to be the commander and she did not accept a life of solitude, without love. Surely she didn't owe her entire life to her people. Lexa steadied her breathing. She had to push this out of her mind. She had work to do today and she could not be distracted by Titus and his ill timed lecture. She knew he cared about her, but this transgression was not something she would easily forgive. If he had been anyone else, she would have already thrown him off her balcony to his death.

An hour later, Lexa was seated on her throne with ambassadors from eleven of the clans seated around her in a circle. The chair for Azgeda was empty, a fact which did not go unnoticed by anyone. This would be the true test of Lexa's leadership.

"Thank you all for coming today," Lexa began in a strong voice. "We are here to talk peace. I have met with each of you individually and have heard your concerns and conditions. For this to work, everyone must make compromises. But we are stronger together. In my coalition, your people will be safe. An attack against one clan will be an attack against every clan. Together we will possess an army unlike any the world has ever seen."

Lexa was pleased when she noticed heads nodding in agreement. She had their attention. For the next several hours, they discussed the terms of the coalition. Things became heated at times, but Lexa expertly mediated every conflict. Then, without warning, the doors to the throne room swung open and in strode Queen Nia and her Ice Nation delegation.

Lexa stood and walked down the aisle to meet Nia. Nia towered over her, but Lexa held her stare, refusing to give her an inch of ground.

"Nia, are you here to join my coalition or are you here to die? I'd be happy to oblige either way." Lexa got right to the point. The other ambassadors watched intently.

"I will never follow you, _girl,"_ Nia sneered, looking down at Lexa with disgust.

Gustus was there in an instant, sword drawn. He pointed his sword at Nia's neck. She looked unconcerned.

"Heda?" He asked, awaiting her orders.

Lexa never lost her composure. She stared at Nia, studied her.

"You may not, but your people will. You can be the first to take my brand, as a symbol of your membership in my coalition."

Lexa kicked Nia behind the knees, forcing her to kneel in front of her. Lexa then ripped the sleeve of Nia's shirt, exposing her forearm. Without breaking eye contact with Nia, Lexa reached her hand out to grab the iron brand her guarded handed her; it was glowing orange with the heat from the fire it had been resting in. Nia's eyes went wide as Lexa plunged the brand into her skin. Nia didn't give Lexa the satisfaction of a scream and kept her eyes fixed on Lexa in defiance. Lexa relished the thought of making Nia suffer, making her burn like her people burned.

"You will leave an ambassador here to participate in our peace talks. Is that clear?" Lexa asked.

"Crystal," Nia spat. "Roan!" She called.

A warrior stepped out from the Ice Nation delegation. "Yes, mother."

"Stay here and keep an eye on this _child_ who presumes to lead us."

Lexa's fist connected with Nia's face before she could get another word out. It was a solid hit; she didn't pull back. Nia was knocked unconscious. The other ambassadors were clearly impressed. The Ice Queen was not popular among them.

"Take your queen home to lick her wounds," Lexa said to the Azgeda guards. They complied without question. Titus was standing outside the throne room when they left. He slipped a note into one of the guard's hands and walked away without saying a word.

Prince Roan was the last Azgeda warrior still standing in the throne room. A look passed between him and Lexa. He was ruggedly handsome, a seasoned warrior, yet his eyes did not share the hatred for Lexa that his mother's did. _Roan_ , Lexa thought. Her mind flashed back to that night, the night she lost everything, to the boy who spared her. _Could it be?_

"Prince Roan. Thank you for joining us. Please take your seat." Lexa motioned to the empty chair. He looked at her curiously and sat down.

Over the next several weeks, the terms of Lexa's coalition were solidified. In turn, each ambassador volunteered to take the brand, a sign of their clan's commitment to the coalition. For most, they did it for security. For others, they did it out of fear of Lexa. Her confrontation with the Ice Queen only made her more powerful. Lexa didn't care what their motivations were; what she cared about was the outcome. She still worried about Azgeda. While Prince Roan seemed reasonable enough, Lexa knew he did not have the authority to enforce peace. Nia would continue to be a problem, especially after Lexa had so publicly humiliated her. In the end, Azgeda did not join the coalition.

On his last night in Polis, Roan was summoned to Lexa's room. Gustus escorted him to her.

"Roan, come in," she said.

"Heda, if this is about the coalition, you know I support it, but the queen is adamantly opposed. I do not know that there is anything I can do to convince her," Roan said.

"I know. It's not about that. I have to know something."

"It's about that night, isn't it?" Roan asked.

"So it was you?"

"Yes."

"Why did you spare me?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I defied my mother and my queen, lied to my own people. I just couldn't kill you. It was something in your eyes. I just knew in my gut that your fight was not over yet."

"Yet you saw fit to murder everyone I knew?" Lexa asked.

"It was war, Heda. We all do things we are not proud of. We do what we must for our people. I know you understand that."

"I will never understand what your people do. But I do owe you my life."

"I was right about you," Roan said. "Regardless of what happens next, I don't regret sparing you. You were born for this."

"I'm not going to kill you," Lexa said. "Our people may be at odds, but you and I are not. One day I will repay the debt I owe you."

Roan looked at her in awe. He had never known a leader like her.

"I will grant you and your delegation safe passage home to your lands," Lexa continued. "Tell your mother that I will meet her on the battlefield."

Roan gave one quick nod and turned and left. Lexa would not see him again for many years.

Costia had been listening from the next room. She came out and joined Lexa, throwing an arm around her.

"You did the right thing. Not killing him," she said.

"I hope that's true," Lexa said. She was so tired of Azgeda. "Why must Nia be so stubborn? I should destroy them all!"

"Maybe that's what she deserves, but it's not what her people deserve. You know that, Lexa. No matter what, you have to let Azgeda into your coalition. You have to find a way. Otherwise, all of this is for naught and the fighting will just continue," Costia said. "Promise me you'll use your head on this one and not your sword, ok?"

"I will do my best," Lexa conceded with a smile. "Let's just go to bed. I'm ready for this day to be over."

She began to blow all of the candles out in her room. There were so many of them.

"I've been meaning to ask you," Costia said, "why so many candles?"

Lexa sighed. "It may be silly, but they are all reminders. For each triumph, each regret, each mistake, each person I love, each person I lose, I light a new candle. They tell my story. I know what each one means."

"I think that's beautiful," Costia said, as she drifted off to sleep.

Lexa smiled sadly and let sleep take her, as well.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

A week had passed since Roan left Polis, and Lexa prepared to march on Azgeda. She would give Nia an ultimatum—join or die. Lexa did not relish the thought of going to war, but it didn't scare her either. She would do what needed to be done for the good of her people. It would take time for her army to amass, but every clan would answer her call. Lexa felt cautiously optimistic.

It had been another long day and Lexa headed back to her room, eager to see Costia. She kept Lexa centered and it scared Lexa how much she needed her.

Her thoughts were shattered as she stepped into her room. Signs of a struggle were everywhere. Furniture was overturned, broken glass on the floor, her precious candles scattered. And no sign of Costia.

"Costia!" Lexa screamed, fear overtaking her. Where was her guard? She searched her rooms. No sign of Costia. But Lexa knew she wouldn't find her there. There was only one explanation. Nia had taken her.

Lexa screamed for her guards. Gustus appeared seconds later. He took in Lexa's distraught appearance and the state of her room and he knew instantly what happened. All color drained from his face.

"My sister…"

"We have to find her. Go now. Take your best warriors with you. If you hurry, you may still be able to find her before they cross into Azgeda."

Gustus was in a daze. Lexa shook him. "Go now!"

He snapped out of it and ran out, shouting orders to the guards as he left.

Lexa didn't sleep that night, or the next, or the one after that. She felt utterly lost. Her thoughts were consumed with Costia, of what Azgeda was doing to her. Lexa had heard the stories. Knew the torture methods they used. Costia was innocent and pure; she loved peace. How could this be happening to her? Lexa cried and cried until she had no more tears. And the rage within her grew. Nia wanted to hurt Lexa, wanted her secrets. Lexa hoped that Costia would just tell her what she wanted to know, so she would let her go. But she also knew that Nia would never let her go.

Gustus came back on the fourth day. Of the twenty warriors who set out, only three returned. Gustus and the other two were badly wounded.

"I'm sorry, Lexa," Gustus choked, "We couldn't get to her. They ambushed us. They have her. I failed my sister. Failed you."

Lexa's heart sank and her knees buckled. _No! This cannot be happening._

"I am glad you have returned to me, Gustus. I will go myself and bring her home," Lexa said.

"No Heda, it's too dangerous," he replied before passing out from the pain.

Lexa resolved to set out the next morning. She only needed to meet with her council first and give them the final instructions for the impending battle. The army was nearly ready. She would ride ahead, sneak into Azgeda, free Costia, and then rejoin her army. It's what she should have done in the first place, she thought.

After the meeting, Lexa returned to her room to don her warpaint and gather her weapons. As she walked past her bed, something caught her eye. There was a strange bump in her bed. She pulled back the covers and screamed. It was Costia's head. Her dead eyes, frozen open, stared back at Lexa, her once beautiful face distorted and grotesque in death. They killed her. Killed her beloved Costia.

Lexa screamed again and fell to the floor. The pain she felt was unlike any physical pain she had ever experienced. She felt like her heart had been ripped from her chest. Her guards came running at the sound of her screams.

"Leave me alone!" She screamed as she threw a knife in their general direction. They quickly vanished.

Lexa lost all awareness of time and space. She couldn't breathe. She gasped for breath and clutched at her chest, curling up into a ball on the floor. She screamed and cried and threw things. But always, there was Costia staring back at her. She wailed over and over again. The pain was so excruciating she thought she would die. She wished she would die. Then she wouldn't have to live with this pain, live without Costia. She felt hollow, empty, like she was half the person she was before. She felt like the best parts of her had been ripped out and destroyed with Costia. Then the guilt came.

 _This is all my fault. Titus warned me. Anya warned me. I refused to listen. I am the reason Costia is dead. She is dead for loving me. I was selfish. Titus tried to tell me that she would be a target but I only wanted what I wanted. This is all my fault. I killed her. I killed the only person I have ever truly loved. Everyone I care about dies._

The guilt and grief were overwhelming. Lexa picked up a knife from the floor and held it over her wrist. She just wanted the pain to end. Would do anything to make it stop. She could feel Becca trying to break through to her, but she shut her out. Whatever it was she had to say, Lexa didn't want to hear it. Her thoughts were chaos.

But then, Lexa thought of Nia. No, she couldn't die while Nia still drew breath. She would see this through. She would avenge Costia, avenge her family, avenge them all.

Lexa's grief was replaced with hatred. She wiped the tears from her eyes. _Love is weakness_ , she thought. _I will never love again. I will never feel this way ever again. Never be weak again. To be commander is to be alone._

When she walked out of her room, Lexa was a changed woman. Titus came running up to her.

"I heard what happened," he said.

She cut him off. "Have the guard remove Costia's head from my bed. And tell my generals that we march immediately on Azgeda. They will all burn at my feet."

"Yes, Heda," Titus replied. As he turned to walk away, a smile spread across his face. _Yes,_ he thought, _this is the Heda I knew she could be. Ruthless. Cold. Unfeeling. I have not failed her. I have made her the leader she needs to be. Long may she reign._


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

It was snowing when Lexa's army crossed into Azgeda. Despite the cold, Lexa burned hot with anger. They approached the battlefield. The Azgeda army was already waiting for them. Their army was large; however, it was nothing compared to the combined size of the armies of the eleven clans marching behind Lexa. Azgeda warriors were fierce, but this would be a blood bath. Lexa smiled at the thought. She saw Nia at the head of her army. She was surprised not to see Prince Roan. As was custom, Lexa and Nia both rode out alone to the center of the field to discuss terms.

"Lexa."

"Nia."

They stared at each other for a second.

"Did you get my present?" Nia asked. "If you'd like the rest of the body back, I can arrange for that, although you may not appreciate the state it's in."

It was all Lexa could do not to draw her sword and strike Nia off her horse. But Lexa's honor would not allow her to do that.

"I'm going to kill you," Lexa said.

"You're certainly going to try," Nia baited her. "You should know, before you die, that your little girlfriend put up quite the fight. I personally questioned her."

Lexa's stomach turned thinking about what that entailed.

Nia continued, "But the little bitch never talked. She took all of your secrets with her. I almost regretted killing someone so stubborn. It's a trait I admire." Nia smirked at Lexa.

"Where's Prince Roan?" Lexa was desperate to change the subject.

"Oh, you mean my disappointment of a son? He's certainly not a prince anymore."

Lexa cocked her head, not understanding.

"Oh, you see, Roan tried to free your little girlfriend. He doesn't have the stomach for torture. Has some kind of soft spot for you. They got pretty far actually before my guards caught them."

Lexa felt a great deal of gratitude for Roan. "And what did you do to him?" She wasn't sure she wanted the answer though.

"I banished him for his treachery. He is Azgeda no more. I suspect he hates you now for this. So much for your alliance with my son."

Lexa wasn't sure it was possible to hate someone more than she hated Nia. "I see. Enough talk. I will hear your surrender now."

"Oh, I'm not surrendering."

"But surely you know this is a battle you cannot win."

"We shall see about that."

"I will see you on the battlefield then."

Lexa turned her horse around and rode back to her army. Nia did the same.

"They have chosen death," Lexa said to Indra, who rode at the front of the army with Lexa.

"I am happy to oblige them," Indra replied, and both women smiled.

They blew their horns and both armies advanced. Lexa rode in front, the first person from her army to leap into the fray. Nia, she noticed was in the back of her army. _No surprise there,_ Lexa thought, as she slashed her enemies from atop her horse. Several minutes into the fighting, an Ice Nation warrior speared her horse, and its legs gave out. Lexa tumbled down with her horse but was quickly drawing her swords as she stood up. She was unstoppable, felling every enemy who came her way. She was covered in blood, but none of it was her's. While she was fighting, she forgot about the pain. She almost felt free, her blood lust being sated. The chaos of the battle all around her was almost comforting. Life was simple on the battlefield. Kill or be killed.

To Lexa's dismay, it wasn't long before Azgeda blew the horn to signify their desire to surrender. They were being slaughtered and common sense prevailed. If they did not stop their attack, Lexa's army would wipe them off the face of the earth. It was only her sworn duty as commander that prompted Lexa to sheath her weapons. She would have been happier to see the battle through to its conclusion.

One of her generals found Lexa and brought her a fresh horse. She mounted it and rode out to meet Nia once again.

"I will hear the terms of your surrender," Lexa shouted.

Even beaten, Nia still looked proud. "We will lay down our weapons and ask that you allow us to join your coalition."

 _How dare they ask to join MY coalition! After what they've done! Never! I will finish this._ But then Lexa remembered her talk with Costia- _Promise me you'll use your head on this one and not your sword,_ Costia had said to her. _Shit,_ Lexa thought. Despite everything, Lexa would not dishonor Costia's memory by breaking one of her last promises to her. A war waged inside Lexa. Nia saw it play across Lexa's face, legitimately worried about the outcome. In her heart, Lexa wanted revenge for everyone she had lost to the Ice Nation. In her head, she knew that, as commander, it was best to offer them a place in her coalition. She would do her duty, and she would keep her promise. Even if she hated herself for it. It would not be the last time Lexa had to choose her head over her heart.

"I accept your terms," Lexa began. "You will lay down your weapons and never again take up arms against this coalition. You will appoint an ambassador to sit on my council and your people will abide by my laws. If you take one false step, you negate the terms of our peace and my army will move against you. And there will be no mercy a second time for your people."

"We accept your terms, Commander." It was the first time Nia had used Lexa's proper title.

"Very well then."

"You know this isn't over," Nia said.

"No, I expect not." Lexa continued, "I will make you a promise, Nia. One day I will kill you. I will plunge a spear into your heart, and I will watch the life fade from your eyes. I will find Roan and make him king. And you will be forgotten by everyone."

"And I will make you a promise, Lexa," Nia said, only slightly shaken by Lexa's words. "I will destabilize you at every turn. But you won't see me coming until it's too late. And I will place a new commander on the throne and you will be remembered as weak and a failure."

"I'm glad we understand each other then," Lexa said cooly.

"Indeed we do," Nia replied.

They turned and went their separate ways, riding further away from each other but both thinking about the others' words. Azgeda became the twelfth and final clan to join the coalition. And, for the first time in a long time, there was peace.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Lexa and her army returned to Polis and were welcomed back as heroes. People chanted "Heda" in the streets when they rode by. Lexa should have taken great joy from such a victory, but she didn't. She just felt hollow.

That night, Lexa couldn't even sleep in her bed. All she could see was Costia's head laying there. She curled up in the floor and only slept because she was too exhausted to stay awake any longer.

The next day, Lexa summoned Titus.

"You called for me, Heda?"

"Yes," Lexa began. "I have a task for you. I have played the events over and over again in my mind and it is no accident that Nia knew about Costia, nor that her spies were able to make it all the way to my chambers and back out undetected. We have a traitor in our midst. You will find this person and bring them to me."

Titus felt sick. He had not foreseen this, and he recognized now that he should have. Lexa was smart. He had much work to do to cover up what he had done. And, he reminded himself once again that he did it all for Lexa, to make her better, to make her stronger.

"It would be my honor to do this for you," Titus replied.

Next, Lexa summoned five of her best scouts and assembled them in her throne room. They eagerly awaited her words.

"I have a task for you," Lexa said. "You will find Roan of Azgeda and you will bring him here to me, unharmed."

The scouts shifted nervously, cutting their eyes at one another. Roan was an accomplished warrior. He would not come easily. Lexa sensed their reluctance.

"Perhaps I'm not making myself clear. You will not come back until you have found Prince Roan. You will do this or die trying," she rephrased. "You leave at dawn. Dismissed."

The scouts shuffled out. Lexa knew she should have felt badly for speaking to them so harshly, but she didn't. And, she needed to find Roan. He was important to her agenda. He may hate her, but she would make things right.

Three days later Titus presented his victim. Lexa and Gustus were both in the throne room when Titus entered with a bound and gagged man. Lexa recognized him as a member of her guard.

"What is this?" She asked Titus.

"This is the man who betrayed you, Heda. He confessed it to me. Nia offered him money." Titus threw a bag of coins down. The man was shaking his head vigorously.

"Let him speak."

Titus removed the gag from his mouth. The man looked terrified.

"What do you have to say?" Lexa asked, completely unmoved by the man's obvious fear.

"Heda, please! I didn't do this! He's lying!"

"Titus, do you swear that this is the man?"

"I swear it, Heda."

"Very well then." She turned to the man. "I sentence you to death by 49 cuts."

"No! Please! No! I swear it wasn't me!"

"Silence! I will hear no more of your lies," Lexa said. She turned to Gustus, who was visibly struggling to contain his anger. "You may cut him, but the kill is mine. Do you understand?"

"Thank you, Heda," Gustus said, drawing his knife.

Lexa watched passively while Gustus did his worst. Gustus was enraged. The man's screams could be heard throughout the tower. But no one would dare come to his aid.

Finally, Lexa stopped him. "Enough," she said, drawing her own sword.

She walked over to the man and Gustus moved out of her way. She faced her betrayer head on.

"Jus drein jus daun," she said. Then she plunged her sword into his heart.

But she felt nothing. No release. No satisfaction. Nothing.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

 _1 year later…_

Lexa had never felt so alone. She stared at the numerous candles in her room. She had added more. So many regrets. She always heard it said that time heals all wounds, but she didn't think that was true. It had been a year since Costia was tortured and murdered, and Lexa still missed her. She only survived by focusing on her duties as commander. And, over time, she truly came to believe that love was weakness. She was careful to protect herself from falling into its trap again. She was feared, respected, and followed. Maybe that was all she needed.

Gustus was still with her. At first, Lexa worried he may leave. She knew he grieved for Costia, too. But he had reassured her. "No Heda," he had said, "Serving you helps me keep her memory alive. She loved you more than anything, so I honor her by protecting you." It was the closest Lexa had come to feeling moved by anything since Costia's death.

Lexa continued to go through the motions of her daily routine. One day, she received a report of a lightening strike on a Trikru village. She decided to personally accompany the search party to look for survivors. She needed a change of scenery, and it would give the people strength to see their Heda.

The village was a half a day's ride from Polis. Once there, the scene was all too familiar to Lexa. An entire village almost completed burned to the ground. Thankfully, there were survivors. Many of them were walking around in a daze. Lexa dismounted and began to walk through the village. She stopped cold in her tracks when she saw a small boy crying over the bodies of his parents. No one was helping him. Lexa shuddered to think how many people had walked by him and not stopped to check on him. She kneeled down in the mud next to him and lightly touched his shoulder.

"What's your name?" Lexa asked as gently as should could.

The blonde haired boy looked up at her, noticing her for the first time. He knew who she was by the commander's symbol on her forehead. His eyes widened in awe.

"Aiden," he replied.

As Lexa looked him over, she noticed he was bleeding from a cut on his leg. His blood was black. She gave him her most reassuring smile.

"I'm going to get you fixed up by one of our healers, and then my little natblida, you will come with me to Polis. You're going to be okay."

Young Aiden mustered all of his courage. "Thank you, Heda," he replied.

Once their healer had bandaged his wound, Lexa scooped Aiden up and put him on her own horse with her. He clung to her tightly the whole way back to Polis.

Aiden joined Lexa's other Nightbloods and quickly became her favorite. He was smart, kind, and brave. Lexa felt strongly that, when the time came, her spirit would choose him to be the next commander. The thought gave her peace.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

 _3 years later..._

Lexa couldn't remember when the dreams about the sky girl started, but they were becoming more and more frequent now. They were so vivid and becoming more detailed. The first time, Lexa dreamed of a golden haired girl falling from the sky. Initially, she thought she was dreaming about Costia again. But then, the dream changed. The second time, Lexa saw the girl's face as she fell from the sky. She was a complete stranger to her, but Lexa thought she was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. The third time, Lexa awoke with a name on her lips. _Clarke._

Lexa found the dreams unnerving. The girl was always falling from the sky, but she never saw her land. What did it mean? Who was this girl? Was she even real? Lexa consulted with Becca but she had no guidance to offer. Lexa believed the dreams were a sign that something was about to happen, and while she wasn't sure if that something was going to be good or bad, Lexa felt deep in her soul that her life was about to change forever.

Lexa was twenty now and had already lived longer than many commanders. She had accomplished much in her young life and was proud of her thriving coalition. But she was still haunted by her past. In ways she couldn't explain, she felt she was standing on the edge of a great precipice. Who would she be become? What decisions would define her? Who did she _want_ to be? The girl in her dreams made her question everything. It was, honestly, frustrating.

It was exactly these things she was thinking about one day standing on her balcony when a flash of light in the sky caught Lexa's eye. It was way off in the distance, so far that Lexa wondered if she had really seen anything at all. But no, something was there! It looked like fire falling from the sky, but it was too far away to tell. Whatever it was, it looked like it was headed for Trikru lands.

"Indra!" Lexa called.

Indra appeared from inside. "Yes, Heda?"

"Send word to Anya. Something has crashed into Trikru lands."

"Crashed?" Indra questioned.

"I just saw something fall from the sky. I don't know what it was. But I need Anya to look into it," Lexa explained.

"Of course, Heda. I'll send a rider."

Lexa's heart leapt with expectation. This was it. It didn't look like her dream, but something new was about to happen.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

It had been weeks since Lexa saw something fall from the sky, but she hadn't heard anything from Anya. Then one day, Lexa had a visitor to her throne room. Indra entered the throne room with a man Lexa didn't recognize. By his dress and tattoos, Lexa immediately identified him as Trikru. He had a physically intimidating presence, but his eyes were gentle. Lexa instantly liked him.

"Heda," Indra began. "This is Lincoln. He comes with news from Trikru."

Lexa leaned in, intently. "Go on, Lincoln."

Lincoln stepped forward and bowed respectfully to Lexa. "Heda, I bring news of invaders. They fell from the sky. There were a hundred of them, but there are fewer now." He didn't need to expound upon what that meant.

Lincoln had Lexa's full attention. She said, "Are these invaders hostile? What do you know of them?"

"Some are hostile and some are not. There is one, Octavia, who showed me kindness. They captured me and tortured me for information, but she saved me."

"Tell Heda about the villages they destroyed!" Indra interjected, clearly agitated.

Lexa raised her eyes brows to Lincoln, a sign that he should explain.

Lincoln continued, "The Sky People launched rockets at night that completely destroyed a Trikru village. There were no survivors."

This was not at all what Lexa had been expecting. She was incensed.

"Why would they do this?! What provocation did they have?" She shouted.

"Anya's warriors have been attacking, picking them off one by one," Lincoln explained. "They view us as a threat. Although I'm not sure it was their intention to destroy the village."

"What other intention could there be?!" Indra said. "Heda, this is an act of war!"

Lexa's hand shot up to quiet Indra. She wanted to hear more of what Lincoln had to say.

Lincoln continued, "They were trying to contact their people."

"There's more of them?" Lexa asked.

"Yes," Lincoln said, pointing up, "Up there, in the sky. Many more."

 _This could be bad,_ Lexa thought, _bad for my coalition._

"Indra," Lexa began. Indra stood at attention. "Go back to Anya. Tell her that she has my full authority to attack the Sky People at their camp. But tell her to leave some survivors. I want answers."

Indra was clearly pleased with Lexa's assessment of the situation and her decision. "With pleasure, Heda." But Indra hesitated to leave. A look passed between Indra and Lincoln.

"Is there something else, Indra?" Lexa asked, curious.

"Yes, Heda," Indra said. "Unfortunately, there is. The Mountain Men are back."

A shiver ran up Lexa's spine. The Mountain Men hadn't been seen in years, not since Lexa became commander. She heard stories of them as a young girl. They lived under the mountain and only came out to abduct people. The people they took were either never seen again or came back as reapers, zombie-like creatures devoid of all thought and humanity. The Mountain Men possessed weapons so powerful that even the strongest warrior could not prevail against them; it was why they had never attacked the Mountain Men. Legend said that once a village sought to rise up against them. The Mountain Men launched a rocket that obliterated the village and left only a crater in its place. They didn't even have to leave their mountain to do this. No one knew what they wanted or who they were. They were, quite possibly, the only thing Lexa feared, the only threat to the peace she had established. This was unwelcome news indeed.

"Explain," Lexa said, her voice cold as ice.

Indra looked to Lincoln. "It's true, Heda," Lincoln said. "They have taken many Trikru, and the reapers have been spotted again. No one has seen the Mountain Men, but who else could it be?"

Lexa was clearly troubled by this news. Invaders from the sky _and_ Mountain Men.

Lincoln could see Lexa running through the scenarios in her head. He said, "Heda, if I may say something. What makes you a good commander is that you want peace but you also are not afraid of war. The Mountain Men are a threat; the Sky People may not be."

Indra said, "Lincoln, it is not for you to tell the commander what to do! This Skaikru must be wiped out!"

Lexa interjected, "It is not for either of you to tell me what to do, but I thank you both for your counsel. Go back to Trikru now and be my eyes and ears. Tell Anya to report back to me on the outcome of her attack and to bring the survivors to me."

Indra and Lincoln nodded and were dismissed. Lexa sat back in her throne, troubled. _War is brewing,_ she thought.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Lexa hoped every day that Anya would arrive with news. But Anya never came. Indra came instead, a grim look on her face. Lexa felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Indra was wearing the symbol of the Trikru chief. Something had happened. Anya was no longer in charge.

"Indra, what news of Anya?" Lexa got right to the point.

"She was killed, Heda, by Skaikru. I'm sorry to bring this news," Indra said.

"What?! How could this have happened? What of her attack on Skaikru?"

"Things went badly, Heda. Skaikru was prepared. Anya attacked with 300 warriors, and Skaikru burned them all alive." Indra hung her head in respect for the dead.

Lexa leaned back in her throne. She felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. Who were these Sky People that they could kill 300 of her best warriors?

Indra continued, "Then the Mountain Men arrived. They captured over 40 of the Sky People. They've all vanished into the mountain. The rest of Skaikru scattered. And there's more. The rest of the Sky People have arrived. They fell from the sky in a huge structure. It acts as their new camp now. They are regrouping."

 _So basically, everything has gone to shit,_ Lexa thought. She didn't know what she was more upset about—Anya, the 300 dead warriors, the Mountain Men, or even more of these mysterious Sky People. One thing was clear though—it was time for her to clean up this mess herself. She could no longer stay in Polis and wait for news. She needed to address this threat personally. It was her duty.

"Indra," Lexa began. "I will personally accompany you back to Trikru lands. These threats upon our way of life will not stand. Blood must have blood."

"Jus drein just daun," Indra repeated back.

"We leave at dawn," Lexa said, her mind made up.

Lexa spoke to Titus and left him in charge of the day to day operations of Polis in her absence. Between Titus and her ambassadors, Lexa felt the city at least wouldn't fall apart while she was gone. She also made time to say goodbye to Aden before she left. Gustus and the rest of her personal guard would accompany her on her trip.

Lexa hadn't dreamed of the golden haired girl in several weeks. But, on this night, she did. The girl was scared. Running. In her dreams, Lexa saw her leap off the top of a waterfall, crashing into the frigid water below. But she wasn't alone. Anya was with her. Lexa sat bolt upright in bed, gasping for breath and drenched in sweat. _Hold on,_ she thought, _I'm coming_. But she wasn't sure if she was saying it to Anya or the mysterious girl whose name she thought was Clarke.


	19. Chapter 19

_*This chapter contains quotes from episode 2x06 Fog of War, written by Kira Snyder._

 **Chapter 19**

Lexa and her army made camp directly outside of the Sky People's camp. As commander, Lexa had a large tent, complete with her throne. She needed to show the Sky People the full extent of her power. She was in her tent discussing her next move with Indra and Gustus when they heard a commotion outside.

"I need to speak with Commander Lexa! Right away!"

Lexa turned to Gustus. "Check it out," she said.

A few moments later, Gustus entered the tent with Nyko, a Trikru healer. He looked desperate.

"Heda, you need to hear what he has to say," Gustus said.

"Speak," Lexa commanded.

"Thank you, Heda. I am Nyko. My village is not far from here. Skaikru just massacred 18 of us. They corralled us and began shooting, with no regard for women or children. They thought we had one of their's, but we didn't. I heard you were here, Heda. Please avenge us. Blood must have blood."

"I agree, Nyko," Lexa began. "This crime against your people will not go unanswered. Do you know who the shooter was? Was there more than one of them?"

"There were two men, boys really. But only one pulled the trigger. His name is Finn. The other kept calling his name trying to stop him."

"I will see this done," Lexa said. "Jus drein jus daun."

"Thank you, Heda. I knew you would not let this stand."

Gustus escorted Nyko out of the tent. Lexa turned to Indra.

"Capture their leaders. I have a plan."

Marcus Kane and Thelonious Jaha had been captured. They were chained in some kind of makeshift prison, with no food or water for two days. Then, without warning, Gustus entered with two other men, who began beating Jaha.

Kane and Jaha assumed Gustus was the commander. Kane begged him to stop beating Jaha. Gustus confronted him with the village massacre, and Kane claimed to have no knowledge of it.

"Blood must have blood," Gustus stated. He pulled a knife from his belt. "One of you will die here today by the other's hand. I will hear the terms of your surrender from the man who lives." He threw the knife down in front of them.

While he spoke, Lexa entered the room, diminutive, dressed like a servant girl.

Gustus turned to her, "Fetch us when it's done." Then he and the other men turned and left, leaving Lexa alone with Kane and Jaha.

Kane and Jaha both sat and stared at the knife, neither speaking. Jaha finally broke the silence. "They want us to turn on each other."

"They want justice," Lexa said from the corner. They had barely paid her any attention until this. They both turned and looked at her. She didn't make eye contact, just looked at the ground, hidden in the shadows. She was curious to learn more about these two sky men.

"Lives have been lost on both sides," Kane began. She turned and looked at him. "That's why we need to end this war!" he yelled, taking off his jacket and throwing it on the ground in frustration. Lexa watched him curiously. She was surprised by his passion to end the fighting; it was not what she had expected.

Jaha stood up and approached her where she sat huddled against the wall, looking vulnerable. "What's your name?" He asked.

"Lexa," she replied, not turning to look at him. Even though it went against her very nature, Lexa tried her best to look weak, scared even. It was the only way she would get the information she needed.

"Lexa," he repeated. "I'm Thelonious. This is Marcus. Your commander, he spoke of an assassin in a village…"

"Yes," Lexa said. "Eighteen of our people were murdered. Elders. Children." She turned to look at Jaha as she said this. Jaha looked at Kane, both men clearly hearing this for the first time, their confusion evident.

"We had nothing to do with that," Kane said with conviction. Lexa believed him.

"It doesn't matter," Lexa replied. "The commander thinks you did. One of you must pick up the knife. That is our way."

"And if we refuse?" Jaha asked.

Lexa turned to look at him directly in the eyes. "Then the commander will use it to slit both of your throats," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Both men went silent again for awhile, thinking. Jaha stood up. He was trying to think of a way out of their predicament.

Jaha leaned down to whisper to Kane. "We can offer them a trade," He said. "These people are primitive. I've seen how they live." Lexa leaned forward with interest. "Technology or medicine. And all we ask for in return is peace." _Primitive?_ Lexa thought. _Of course they think they are better than us. Their true colors are starting to show._

"If we truly want peace," Kane began, "They told us how to get it."

"Through murder?"

"Through sacrifice." Kane got up and picked up the knife.

After a tense moment in which both Lexa and Jaha thought that Kane would kill Jaha, Kane turned the knife around and offered the hilt to Jaha. "You have to kill me," he said. Lexa found herself slightly impressed by Kane. He showed true character and a desire to do what was best for his people. That was something she could appreciate and respect.

The two men debated this for several minutes while Lexa observed. Jaha flatly refused to do it. When Jaha refused, Kane turned the knife on himself, slitting his wrist.

"Kane! No!" Jaha tackled Kane and pulled the knife from this hands, binding his bleeding wrist with his hand. "Please!" He turned to Lexa. She handed him a rag, surprised by Kane's act of self-sacrifice.

"I told you we didn't come all this way to die," Jaha said to Kane. With that, he picked up the knife and spun around on Lexa, grabbing her from behind and holding the knife to her throat. _Here it is_ , Lexa thought _, Kane is not what I expected but Jaha is exactly what I expected. He will pay for this. I only have to wait a few more seconds before I show him what power really looks like._

"No!" Kane said.

Gustus entered the room with his men. They had been out of sight the whole time, listening.

Jaha commanded Gustus to remove his chains. _Fool,_ Lexa thought. _He actually thinks he's in control here._

"Please, she's just an innocent girl," Kane pleaded with Jaha. _You're wrong, too,_ Lexa thought.

Lexa finally spoke, addressing her comments to Gustus. "He made his choice. This one's mine." With that she elbowed Jaha and flipped him over on his back. She pinned him down and held the knife to his throat. He was stunned. Lexa enjoyed the moment more than she probably should have.

Kane stared at her with shock, realization starting to sink in. They had been played.

She stood up and took the rag off of her head. She walked confidently now, her voice strong. No trace of the girl she had been a minute ago. "I've heard what I needed to hear."

"Yes, Commander," Gustus replied, as he handed her her shoulder armor. She snapped it into place, looking every bit a fierce leader, her face set in determination.

"You're the Commander?" Kane asked, eyes still wide in disbelief.

She didn't answer the question; she didn't need to. "I've learned much about you. It's clear your intentions are honorable, your desire for peace is true." She turned to her guard. "Free him." Then she turned back to Kane. "Later we will talk. In the meantime, your friend will be used to send a message."

The guards began beating Jaha and dragged him away. "Stop!" Kane pleaded. But Lexa showed no mercy.

"The massacre must be answered," Lexa said flatly. "Blood must have blood."

When Lexa returned to her tent, Indra had unexpected news.

"Do you remember Lincoln?" Indra began.

"Of course. What of him?"

"There are reports that he was captured by the Mountain Men and turned into a reaper," Indra said. "But it serves him right. He sided with the Sky People, betrayed his own people." Lexa was slightly taken aback by Indra's sudden anger.

"He is of no consequence to me right now," Lexa said, her mind on other matters. "Send riders to Skaikru. Tell them my terms. They will release Finn to me or we will attack."

Indra nodded and left the tent, leaving Lexa alone. She slumped down into her throne, suddenly feeling exhausted. This was not going the way she thought it would. _Where are you, Clarke? Are you even real?_


	20. Chapter 20

_This chapter contains quotes from episode 2x07 Long into an Abyss, written by James Thorpe._

 **Chapter 20**

Lexa waited for the Skaikru representative. They had sent word that they had an offer for her. She couldn't imagine what they could possibly say, but she would hear them out. She heard a commotion outside and knew they must have arrived. She overheard Gustus addressing their leader. "If you so much as look at her the wrong way, I will slit your throat," he said. Lexa smiled to herself. She imagined whoever was outside was already scared even before Gustus and his threats. When they saw her, things wouldn't be any easier. Lexa was in her full commander regalia, complete with her warpaint. She looked intimidating, and she knew it.

Gustus opened the tent and ushered the Skaikru representative in. Lexa couldn't believe it. _Clarke!_ The girl from her dreams. _I can't believe it,_ Lexa thought, _she's real_. _And she's beautiful._ Lexa was full of questions, of swirling emotions, but she portrayed herself as someone completely unmoved by anything, devoid of emotions. Clarke looked scared. Indra studied her, accusingly. Clarke's eyes darted around the room, not seeing a friendly face among them. Lexa was sitting on her throne, absentmindedly playing with the knife Anya had given her.

"You're the one," she began, "who burned 300 of my warriors alive." She only looked up at Clarke on the last word. Despite her personal interest in the sky girl, she would play her part as Commander.

"You're the one who sent them there to kill us," Clarke simply replied. _Impressive,_ Lexa thought. _She's bold._

Lexa looked up at her and stuck her knife into the arm of her throne, twisting it, studying Clarke. "Do you have answer for me, Clarke of the Sky People?"

Clarke was sufficiently intimidated by Commander Lexa, but at the same time, she felt that they could understand one another. She felt she could reason with her, trust her even. She couldn't explain it, but she felt emboldened.

"I've come to make you an offer-"

"This is not a negotiation," Lexa said firmly.

"Let me kill her and get this over with," Indra interjected.

Lexa raise her left hand and Indra was silent. Clarke wished Indra wasn't there; she was not an ally. But she was encouraged that Lexa wanted to hear her out.

"I can help you beat the Mountain Men," Clarke said. She clearly had Lexa's full attention now. Lexa moved her knife to her lap.

"Go on," Lexa prompted. Nothing she said or did betrayed the hope she felt rising up in her. _I want to trust her,_ Lexa thought, and that terrified her.

Clarke's voice became more confident. She was getting somewhere with the commander. "Hundreds of your people are trapped inside Mount Weather, kept in cages. Their blood is used as medicine."

"How do you know this?"

"Because I saw them. My people are prisoners there, too. I was one of them."

"Lies," Indra said. Clarke cut her eyes at Indra, annoyed. "No one escapes the mountain," Indra said.

"I did," Clarke said to Indra. Then she turned to Lexa, "With Anya." Lexa narrowed her eyes at Clarke. "We fought our way out together." Clarke knew this would help her connect with the commander. Lexa already knew that Clarke spoke the truth. _It was all real,_ she thought.

"Another lie," Indra accused. "Anya died in the fire. You killed her." Clarke, once again, really wished that Indra wasn't there.

Clarke reached for something in her pocket. Gustus reached for his sword. Indra and Lexa tilted their heads, watching Clarke with interest. She pulled out a braid. Lexa knew before Clarke said anything that it was Anya's.

"She told me you were her second," Clarke said. "I'm sure she'd want you to have this." Clarke approached Lexa, cutting her eyes at Gustus to make sure he wasn't going to attack her. Lexa reached out and took the braid from Clarke. She held it in between her thumb and fore finger, looking down at it, lost in emotion for the briefest of seconds. _Anya is dead_. _My mentor. My friend._ She felt grief begin to bubble up, but now was not the time to grieve. She would not show any weakness. _Anya must have trusted Clarke on some level. I wish she was here._

"We don't know it's her's," Indra said.

"Quiet Indra," Lexa said sharply. "Anya was my mentor," she said to Clarke, "before I was called to lead my people." Clarke gave a small nod in understanding, in sympathy. Lexa carefully placed Anya's braid on the arm of her throne. She touched it one last time and looked at it as she asked Clarke, "Did she die well?"

"Yes. By my side." Lexa's gaze snapped back to Clarke. "Trying to get a message to you."

"What message?"

Clarke continued, "The only way to save both our people is if we join together."

Indra said, "Those who are about to die will say anything."

"I'm still waiting for an offer, Clarke," Lexa said. She wanted to believe Clarke, but she needed something tangible or her people would not support an alliance with Skaikru.

"The Mountain Men are turning your people into reapers. I can turn them back." _Here it is,_ Lexa thought.

"Impossible!" Indra said. "Commander, I bet you let me kill her."

"I've done it!" Clarke said quickly. "With Lincoln." Clarke was afraid she was losing control of the situation, losing the commander. And she needed her.

"That traitor is the reason that village was slaughtered by your people," Indra said moving towards Clarke as if to strike her down.

"Indra! Enough!" Lexa stood up, displeased with Indra. Indra moved away from Clarke as Lexa walked towards her, her mere presence offering Clarke protection. She stood directly in front of Clarke now, trying not to be distracted by finally seeing this girl in person. She took her in, sizing her up. _Her eyes are so blue, like the sky she came from._ Lexa felt like Clarke could see into her soul; it was unnerving, so she hardened her gaze. Clarke met her steely gaze, feeling a connection to this strange grounder leader that she couldn't explain. _She's not scared of me,_ Lexa thought, _at least not as scared as she should be. Curious._ "You say you can turn reapers back into men?"

Clarke nodded. "Yes."

"Then prove it," Lexa spat. "Show me Lincoln." _Please say it's true,_ Lexa thought, _I don't want to kill you._

Clarke led Lexa to the location where they were holding Lincoln—their drop ship. Although it almost didn't work, Lexa watched them bring Lincoln back to life before her very eyes. Both Lexa and Clarke were visibly relieved by the positive outcome. Lexa realized that she wanted an alliance with the Sky People, not just because it could be beneficial to her coalition but because she wanted to spend more time with Clarke.

Now Lexa and Clarke were back in Lexa's tent. They were alone together for the first time. Both of them were less tense without Indra and Lexa's guards surrounding them. Lexa felt lighter just being around Clarke.

"Lincoln's recovery was… impressive," Lexa said, giving a slight smile. "No one's ever survived such a fate before." She felt hopeful, excited even about what this meant for her people, for her.

"It's not complicated really," Clarke said, "We just have to keep them alive long enough for the drug to leave their system. I know we can do the same for others," she said with conviction.

Lexa could not take her eyes off Clarke. "You may have your truce," she said.

Clarke breathed a visible sigh of relief. "Thank you," she said. She was so relieved she had found favor with the commander, even if she wasn't entirely sure what she had done to deserve it.

"I just need one thing in return."

"Tell me," Clarke said, eyes hopeful.

Lexa said, "Deliver me the one you call Finn. Our truce begins with his death." _I will save your people, but I must also satisfy mine,_ Lexa thought.

And so their truce began. Lexa was at war with herself, with her weakness, but she already knew what the outcome would be. She already knew that Clarke was going to tear down her carefully constructed walls, piece by piece. _Clarke is going to ruin me,_ Lexa thought. _She may save me or be the death of me, maybe even both, but either way, I know I'm going let her._

Lexa never told anyone about her dreams, not even Clarke. But she loved Clarke from the first moment she saw her until her dying breath. And, eventually, Clarke loved her back.


	21. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 _Many, many years later…_

Clarke was dying. She knew it. Bellamy held her hand as she took her final breaths. He was trying to be strong for her, but he was devastated, pain written all over his face. He never wanted to lose her, not ever. She feebly tried to squeeze his hand back and offered him a small smile. Clarke had many regrets, but she had always tried to be the good guy. She had loved and been loved, and that's more than many could say. Her biggest regret was that she had not loved Lexa sooner. Lexa had promised that she would always be with her, and Clarke believed her, but her death was a wound that even Bellamy could never heal. They had been soulmates, Clarke knew that.

With her dying eyes, Clarke suddenly saw Lexa standing next to Bellamy and felt an indescribable peace wash over her. Lexa reached her hand out to her and smiled. Clarke immediately reached back. Clarke sat up and firmly took hold of Lexa's hand. She swung her legs to the side of the bed and stood up to face Lexa, never letting go of her hand. She looked at her questioningly, blue eyes searching green ones. Her hands moved to hold Lexa's face and Lexa did the same.

"I told you, Clarke, death is not the end," Lexa said gently, hands still holding Clarke's face. "I've been waiting for you. We owe nothing more to our people. It's time to go home now." _You are my home,_ Clarke thought.

Clarke looked back and saw that her body was still on the bed, Bellamy crying over her. She was gone.

"May we meet again," Clarke whispered back to him.

"You will," Lexa said confidently, smiling at her.

Clarke looked at Lexa, eyes shining. She leaned in closer for a kiss and Lexa eagerly met her halfway. Despite all the years that had passed, all the pain, all the grief, none of it mattered anymore because their love had endured. They poured all of their love into the kiss, both understanding the other completely. Words were inadequate. When their lips finally parted, both of them smiled, true smiles that they had rarely given in life. They were happy… and finally free.

"I love you, Clarke. I've always loved you," Lexa said.

"I know. And, I love you, too," Clarke said, full of tenderness. "I'm ready. Take me home, Lexa."

Lexa smiled and held her hand out to Clarke. Clarke's hand easily slid into Lexa's and she held on tight. Lexa took a step forward, and hands clasped, they walked side by side into the light.

Their fight was over.

 _THE END_

 **Author's Note:** Thank you so much to all of you who have embarked on this journey with me and Lexa. This is my first fic, and I wasn't sure what to expect, but you have all been so kind. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with the story, favorited it, followed it, left reviews, etc. It all means so much to me. I truly hope you enjoyed the story and found hope in the ending. As Clarke said, "Lexa was special," and I know she lives on in each of us. I would love to hear any of your feedback and/or ideas for future stories. May we meet again.


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